Diary of an Uchiha
by Change-of-perspective
Summary: Ever wondered what's going on in that chicken butt head of his? now's your chance to read and find out! AU alternate universe :


Hullo all! First time writer here :) be kind and offer amusing critisisim or praise... i wouldn't argue with that... anyway enjoy!

Oh yeah I don't own Naruto... if i did a certain someone would have already admitted that his hair is indeed a chicken...

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Hey, welcome to my life.

What you are reading could be the rambling of a crazy person or some teen's diary, talking about their life.

Well hasn't my life turned upside down? I have no idea what's going on and no clue what happened and no clue about anything! I'm writing in this stupid thing because I read it was a great way to deal with stress. Heh. The only thing I know is if you looked in a dictionary for the word stressed you'd get "check under Sasuke"

Let me start with my family to give you all an idea of who the hell is writing this crap. In my family there is me, my ass hole of an older brother Itachi, my cousin who may as well be a brother Obito, My mother Mikoto and my father Fugaku. My parents are divorced and my older beloved ass hole of a sibling lives with Mikoto, meanwhile I travel back and fourth from one place to another. I just love being away from Itachi. Every single time I see him I just want to tear his head off and have a nice calming game of soccer… Obito isn't that bad he's always busy with his weird ass friends and I don't talk to him much. My mother and father are just normal, minus all the screaming fights they have upon coming into contact with one another .

I think I might go on a rant about how I hate Itachi (feel free to skip this part). God! I hate that bastard! He always bitches about something or other… unfortunately I'm the only one in the vicinity for him to vent to… I swear he has the ability to make my internal fluids congeal just to see if they can block my hearing. One time I tried to just tell him to shut the fuck up but sadly that completely backfired and just made him talk more… I thought people his age were supposed to just lock themselves in their rooms and make out with their boyfriends… Yep you read right My brother is gay and his boyfriend is a pain in the ass… for all I care they can both go fuck themselves… if they weren't already fucking each other… His boyfriend's name is Kisame. He is also a pain in the ass both of them wont just shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone! Is that so hard? To just shut up and leave me alone?

Now that I've had my little rant I might move on to my school life. Do you even count school as a life? Anyway, at school I hang with a group of people… I wouldn't call them friends exactly but I find I hate them less than everyone else… Okay in the group I hang with is Neji, Shikamaru, Lee, Sai, Sakura, Ino, Chouji and other people who come and go. Neji and I don't exactly see eye to eye considering he's about a head taller than me it could be rather literally but who cares? Basically he's a pain in the ass and pisses me off, I only hang around him because he sits in my seat if I don't move fast enough. Shikamaru is alright, I don't like him or hate him, he keeps to himself most of the time or actually has some intelligent input into the conversation, the one-sided conversation might I add. Lee just pisses me off but it is rather amusing to watch him fall flat on his face. Sai is just plain weird. Sakura pisses me off to no end, I swear if I hear "Sasuke!" from her god damn mouth one more time… same for Ino. Chouji meh he eats and occasionally grunts enough said. School is crap and the classes are too easy. My mind is stagnating there honestly. Yes I'm quite sure the class knows what hello is in japanese, yes we know our times tables, what do you think happens if you light gunpowder on fire? God! If you can't get a real job teach! The only thing I actually find amusing in this god forsaken hell hole is Naruto. Don't take it the wrong way or anything, what do I care I probably hate you anyway… but If I actually had friends He would be my best friend. Naruto is the only person I actually talk to even if it is just yelling, it counts… sort of… Other than pissing him off and making me feel a whole lot better that's all the contact I have with him.

At home I spend most of my time on the computer, talking to people I don't know. It makes it easier to hate them less when I can't picture their faces. I didn't know Itachi had his own anti-fan club until one faithful day. I am now vice-president along with my constant stream of embarrassing photos and extracts from his diary, it's bright freaking pink as if that wasn't a give away to his sexual preference.

I also have a part time job at a clothes store I swear if I get one more invitation to help someone change I'm going to murder them with the damn article of clothing!! I'm just there to tell them how much to pay not to tell them wether their ass looks bigger than normal or not! God! One person actually wanted to buy a pineapple there once… I swear she was high or drunk or something. But at least she got kicked out of the shop. That made my day. Maximum hours and only minimum pay. It will all be worth it when I can buy a house and move far away from civilisation. And that about sums up my life. Stay tuned and find out if I finally snap and kill someone. All this and more next week…

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And this is where i leave you... review!


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